6 Tips for Caring for Someone with Dementia — Tip 3

Let her keep her fantasies

When your mother talks about your dead father as if he was alive or asks — “When is he coming home?” — it’s hard to resist correcting her. But at that stage in her illness, she can’t learn new information, so you’ll just upset her if you tell her he’s not coming home, ever.

Arguing simply won’t work, says Ruth Drew, M.S., director of family and information services for the Alzheimer’s Association, a national nonprofit. You might say, “Not just yet,” and let her mind drift to the next thing.

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